i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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