So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need a beard to bite.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
