so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
