singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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