If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
