Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
