i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
