I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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