Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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