Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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