Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
