what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
