do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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