i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
