If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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