So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
