TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
