My brain says no but my pants say off.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize