Can i not drive my cunt home
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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