Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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