the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
