I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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