it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
