You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I would ride that face into the sunset
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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