Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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