Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
