Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
