O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
