i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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