What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
