worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
