they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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