They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
