Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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