did you get engaged???
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
