By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
