Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize