whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
