I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
