So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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