I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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