At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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