Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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