okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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