He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
