in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
