He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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