Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize