butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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