But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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