My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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