Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
