i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
