I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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