If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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