Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
